Day 8
We leave the day after tomorrow. We still have to clean out Mom's closet. The condo is looking really good. I bought new decorator items and rearranged the future. The realtor was impressed and will take new pictures next week to post on the web.
As I walked into the room, I felt 32 pairs of eyes on me and the conversation dropped to a hush. I had entered enemy territory.
All I wanted to do was donate 10 decks of cards to the pinochle group who played on Friday nights. They saw me as the DAUGHTER of one of their players. No one said anything but I could feel the hostility in the room.
I managed to hand the plastic baggie filled with cards to the leader and scurried out the door.
Today Mom received a phone call inviting her to play card. The caller reported she saw me delivering the cards.
She was concerned I hadn't left her any cards at home!
I have tried to be respectful of Mom's wishes, but I am not perfect. The pressure is not as great now that we are almost done.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Day 7
Mom is grieving. Today she cried when she saw all of the golfers getting ready to tee off. She will probably never golf again. Her heart is too weak.
We cleaned out linens today - towels, sheets, table coths, napkins.
Mom grew up in during the depression and lives modestly on very little money but she still has so much stuff - not just used (I found material she used to make a suit for me 50 years ago. It made it through 3 major moves!) but also new, unused. Are we all like this? I know I have too much stuff in my life and need to clean house; even though, I think we are not big consumers. Am I kidding myself?
I know much of our economy is based on consumerism and I hate that idea, but I think we are a part of the problem.
We leave in two days. I am not sure we will be done here, but we made a lot of progress.
I try to be understanding, but get so frustrated. Physically, I ache all over; emotionally, I my heart aches.
Mom is grieving. Today she cried when she saw all of the golfers getting ready to tee off. She will probably never golf again. Her heart is too weak.
We cleaned out linens today - towels, sheets, table coths, napkins.
Mom grew up in during the depression and lives modestly on very little money but she still has so much stuff - not just used (I found material she used to make a suit for me 50 years ago. It made it through 3 major moves!) but also new, unused. Are we all like this? I know I have too much stuff in my life and need to clean house; even though, I think we are not big consumers. Am I kidding myself?
I know much of our economy is based on consumerism and I hate that idea, but I think we are a part of the problem.
We leave in two days. I am not sure we will be done here, but we made a lot of progress.
I try to be understanding, but get so frustrated. Physically, I ache all over; emotionally, I my heart aches.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Moving Mom
Day 5
We emptied 34 canvas bags of personal paper over the last 4 days, plus a two drawer file cabinet, a desk and 4 file boxes. I am not sure when my mom started filing in ZipLock baggies, but we emptied dozens of baggie filled with papers, both important and not. We found 6 baggies filled with tissues scattered all over: garage, closets, boxes.
We threw away hundreds of recipes that will not be cooked and projects that will not be sewed or crocheted or knitted.
Then we looked under the twin guest beds and found 4 plastic boxes of material. Oh the dreams unsewn! When did she start to hoard everything? When did she shift from being unorganized to obsessed with keeping everything?
It wasn't always this way. Mom did it all. She golfed, gardened, sewed, knit, crocheted, quilted, cooked, etc, etc, etc. Now at 88 most of it has slipped away from her. It is difficult to watch this happen. Moving to this next and maybe last stage of life is a struggle for all of us.
We emptied 34 canvas bags of personal paper over the last 4 days, plus a two drawer file cabinet, a desk and 4 file boxes. I am not sure when my mom started filing in ZipLock baggies, but we emptied dozens of baggie filled with papers, both important and not. We found 6 baggies filled with tissues scattered all over: garage, closets, boxes.
We threw away hundreds of recipes that will not be cooked and projects that will not be sewed or crocheted or knitted.
Then we looked under the twin guest beds and found 4 plastic boxes of material. Oh the dreams unsewn! When did she start to hoard everything? When did she shift from being unorganized to obsessed with keeping everything?
It wasn't always this way. Mom did it all. She golfed, gardened, sewed, knit, crocheted, quilted, cooked, etc, etc, etc. Now at 88 most of it has slipped away from her. It is difficult to watch this happen. Moving to this next and maybe last stage of life is a struggle for all of us.
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