Day 5
We emptied 34 canvas bags of personal paper over the last 4 days, plus a two drawer file cabinet, a desk and 4 file boxes. I am not sure when my mom started filing in ZipLock baggies, but we emptied dozens of baggie filled with papers, both important and not. We found 6 baggies filled with tissues scattered all over: garage, closets, boxes.
We threw away hundreds of recipes that will not be cooked and projects that will not be sewed or crocheted or knitted.
Then we looked under the twin guest beds and found 4 plastic boxes of material. Oh the dreams unsewn! When did she start to hoard everything? When did she shift from being unorganized to obsessed with keeping everything?
It wasn't always this way. Mom did it all. She golfed, gardened, sewed, knit, crocheted, quilted, cooked, etc, etc, etc. Now at 88 most of it has slipped away from her. It is difficult to watch this happen. Moving to this next and maybe last stage of life is a struggle for all of us.
We went through this with my mom when we moved her from Mich to AZ. She saved many things, thinking she would get back to doing what she had once done. Shortly after we moved her, we saw the beginnings of Alzheimers. She later could not remember any of the things she used to do.
ReplyDeleteNow that I am in my 80's, I look around me, and wonder what on earth people will think when they look in my drawers and under my bed, etc.
D/Mom
Day 6
ReplyDeleteWe only have three days left to clean our the condo. Feels like it is impossible to do so. I spent half the day going through papers - agin. I finally said - enough. I left Mom 5 bags to do herself if I don't get back to them. Five out of 34 is an improvement.
I am so tired and stressed most of the time here. I haven't even gone for a walk. I keep seeing one more job.
I did go to Penny's and bought some decorator items to update the decor a little. That was fun.
I vowed to go home and clean out another closet and this summer I will tackle our 2 storage rooms in our basement. For me, it is books and work related materials. I can't seem to get rid of them. But...I will work on it.
Mom seemed the best today. She still is amazed at what we continue to find - another baggie filled with tissue.
I grieve for the mom I used to have. I miss her and her endless energy. I keep trying to adjust to this new mom, but it is hard.
Would this be easier if she were gone already? I am not sure.
Digging through all her stuff is like burying my dad twice. I keep finding notes and lists in his "all caps" printing. Miss him, too.
It's never easy. Your mom is probably also grieving - for the person she used to be, for the energy she used to have...
ReplyDeleteAs I said on Facebook, you will find this all worthwhile. Honest.
Love, D/Mom